(no subject)

[matildas_garden]

 Matilda by Harry Styles

You were riding your bike to the sound of "It's No Big Deal"

And you're trying to lift off the ground on those old two wheels

Nothing about the way that you were treated ever seemed especially alarming 'til now

So you tie up your hair and you smile like it's no big deal

You can let it go

You can throw a party full of everyone you know

And not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love

You don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up, mmh

Matilda, you talk of the pain like it's all alright

But I know that you feel like a piece of you's dead inside

You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days

It's none of my business, but it's just been on my mind

You can let it go

You can throw a party full of everyone you know

And not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love

You don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up

You can see the world, following the seasons

Anywhere you go, you don't need a reason

'Cause they never showed you love

You don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own

You're just in time, make your tea and your toast

You framed all your posters and dyed your clothes, ooh

You don't have to go

You don't have to go home

Oh, there's a long way to go

I don't believe that time will change your mind

In other words

I know they won't hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go

You can let it go

You can throw a party full of everyone you know

You can start a family who will always show you love

You don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own

You can let it go

You can throw a party full of everyone you know

You can start a family who will always show you love

You don't have to be sorry, no

 

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I truly didn't fully appreciate this song when it came out in 2022. I mean, how could I? I was freshly 21, COVID was more managed, I still had good relationships with high school friends, and work was going well at that time. But most importantly, I hadn't realized just how much I deserved to unpack and heal from my trauma. I thought I just had to keep pushing and be okay because that's what adults just did. For some people, that works...just moving through life and moving on from the pain and hurt of the past. But, looking back, that was the worst thing for me at that time. Now, four years later, I understand that letting it go isn't about just moving on and going through the motions of life. Truly letting it go is the act of processing, learning, healing, and growing in life. I never thought a song from four years ago, by a guy who used to be in my favorite boyband would be the thing that sparked deep reflection on how much I've changed and still need to grow on a random Saturday at 8:18am. But here we are.

 

xoxo Matilda